Are You Holding Yourself Back with Self-Hate?

by Marianne  - June 4, 2013

The other day, I was sent a link to a very moving article over at FitMamaTraining <–check it out 🙂


Many of you will know how I have (and still do) struggle with body image, so I just had to share this, because of the impact it had on me. Hopefully the article and maybe my thoughts on it will help you too.





You sick of the teasers yet?



Get the free guide just for you!


How to get Toned | The reality of the concept.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

  1. This was a wonderful topic. It’s clear it’s something I really need to work on. I’m sure a lot of women would love to look like me…yet I keep wishing I looked more like silly. Why do I seek 6 pack abs…yet don’t really find them that attractive in “Real Life”? So brainwashed to think we should/want to look like that…
    Please continue posting topics like this, I find it really helpful.

  2. Hi Marianne,
    I am looking into becoming a certified Kettlebell instructor and was wondering what you thought of the International kettlebell and fitness federation? (IKFF) They have a course in colorado this fall and I am hoping to attend. I know you don’t live in the U.S.(yet) but any insight as to what is a good place to get certified would be helpful. Thanks

    1. I am admittedly bias toward the IKFF because I have attended a few of Steve Cotter’s workshops. However, it depends on your budget. The Ikff would be my first choice, mainly because I would not pay the extra money for the RKC type certs. That is just my opinion, but I know plenty of people who have done their with the RKC or StrongFirst (or whatever it is now).

      Where are you living now?

    2. I live just south of Tucson, Arizona. The IKFF in Colorado is the closest thing I have found to here. But then again I might not be looking in the right places…

  3. Yikes. I still can’t understand why women are so hard on themselves.
    It was actually painful to read that article.
    I think everyone no matter who they are go through phases where they feel insecure about themselves or their bodies, personality etc.
    I also think that there are more triggers out there now than ever and we just have to be very cautious and remember to be gentle with ourselves.
    You look great in this last video. a real person.

  4. Hi Marianne,
    Thanks for posting this article. It was great to read and I will be saying some more positive things to myself. I feel good and I am healthy and I am a good size but I do say bad things to myself all the time. And I don’t stop at the mirror! But I will start. It’s great to read other peoples journey’s and stories and glean what you can from it and make it happen. I have two girls and I have always just encouraged to move our bodies at things that are fun! But I also make negative comments about myself and I am going to work on that.
    Just thanks for your comments and insight!
    We’ve got to get better at this and change it for the future girls!

  5. Marianne, I’ll do it again… There is no better you to be made !! Not by you, not even with the help of your uppergod. Even + 20 kg.. Makes perfect. Even without any exercise. Even without your smile. I would like you to be my nurse. More is not possible. Because I will not measure up with your beauty to be your friend ! But also that is not a problem for me. And I wouldn’t even want because I would get tired of your occupation with who you are. Just be.
    Last week I saw a tv-program about science and the subject was : deception in nature… To be short… animals pretent to something els than they are.. They look like predators,.. but are preys… They are succesfull in evolution by their deceptions. The average man/woman sees himself/herself handsomer than they are.. They made a picture of people and by computer they put other changed pictures that had been made less or more beuatifull. Than the subjects had to find themselves.. Most people pick a picture that is 20-30 % more beautifull !!! Why is that ??? Because evolution promotes self-deception. It’s important. because a woman looks out for a man with self-confidence. There is nothing worse for a man on the sarch for a partner to have no selfconfidence… To be shy or stepping back. SO selfdecption is big issue.. Not to much but for sure not to less. In the second part they talked about people who wer on the other part of the spectrum.. People with BDD (Body Dismorphic Disorder). “Patients” find themselves so ugly they are afraid to go on the street. These are mostly above average handsome people. And they are notorious exercisers and end up in beauticlinics,.. starting with boobs and then,… , then,…
    One scientist told : It’s a brain-defect that is visable in the brain on a scan.
    People with bdd seethemselves right… but normal people see themselves better than they are. People with bdd see realistic. They have good sense for finding symetrie,.. but the thinking mistake is that the parts in which they miss “perfection” lowers there selfworth. What these people need is to see themselves in the total picture and not focussing on the not perfect parts..

    Evolution gives more breeding-chances to people that are confident. People who automaticaly (uncounscious) by mistake see themselves 20-30 % better than they are.

    Something different… another link… Anorexia-people see themselves bigger than they are. In a study these people even turn their body to go throug doorpost that are twice as big as there body’s..

    It’s a braindefect. It’s very seriouss.

    I should say. By those magazines.. Be conscious about yourself.. Just like fear.. The best is to look the beast in his big mouth !!!

    SOrry for the to much writing.. Your writing will be not about the extremes I wrote about but. Maybe you will end this way if you keep giing energy to it. We’ll see when the big booby’s arrive !!!hahahaha

    The link to the program.. (dutch)

  6. Nice job, Marianne.
    You look softly pretty in this video.
    I like FitMamaTraining.
    I think it is interesting that you don’t read women’s entertainment magazines, I tried to purchase a women’s fitness magazine to read on a plane trip last week and after looking over the covers, I decided I didn’t want those ideas in my head. It is really helpful to decide what we ‘ingest’, be it food or intellectual ideas. As I stood in front of the women’s fitness mags, I glanced over at the mens fitness mags and compared the difference in photography. Women wear skimpy items that show as much skin as possible and the men wear t-shirts and cross their arms across their chests. That pretty much decided me against wanting any of that ‘information’ in my brain.
    Our culture strives to suggest body conformity and beauty standards, but it’s our job as individuals to decide what we agree with and what we do not. Being conscious that this is a choice is the most important part.

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}

You may be interested in